When I was a little girl I couldn’t wait to fall in love.
Like most girls, I wanted the fairy tale.
I dreamed of seeing a guy from across the street and falling for him the moment he looked at me.
I dreamed of warm summer nights spent talking for hours on the porch until sunrise and long walks on the beach planning a future.
You know… that kind of love that only exists in the movies.
The kind where they know they want to spend the rest of their lives together after one weekend and end up engaged 3 months later.
The kind of love story that was so unbelievably cheesy it couldn’t possibly be real.
Except that, for me, it was.
I wanted the big love.
The once in a lifetime love.
And I got it.
But there is so much that the fairy tales leave out.
You see, the big love can make you do crazy things.
The big love makes everything a little more intense.
The good things, yes, but the bad things too.
And sometimes even the biggest love still falls apart.
Sometimes there is just no way to save it.
Sometimes life gets in the way and not even the biggest love can survive.
Some fairy tales just aren’t ever meant to have a happy ending.
Too much love is like a drug.
You know how bad it is. You see the way it tears apart your life. You understand that it is toxic and dangerous, but you don’t care. You keep going back, over and over, no matter the consequence.
Like a tornado, it destroys everything in its path.
It breaks you down until there is nothing left.
Yet somehow, you can look at it and only see the good parts.
The story books don’t tell you that you can be too in love.
They don’t tell you about heartbreak either… not really, anyway.
I used to think that the worst thing in the world was to love someone who didn’t love you back, but I was wrong.
The worst thing in the world is knowing that the person you love more than anything feels exactly the same and also knowing that you’re the worst thing for each other.
It’s knowing in your head that you’ll never be able to choose each other, while knowing your hearts will probably always want to.
It’s knowing that if things were different you would have been together forever.
Forever & Ever
The truth is that sometimes forever and ever just isn’t meant to be, even if you wish it was.
Real heartbreak isn’t when he doesn’t love you back. It’s when you know he does, and you still have to walk away.